Full English Accompaniment – It’s ok to not be ok

What’s piqued my interest this week?

Over the Christmas and New Year break I’ve been reading lots of blogs from across the pond and around the world. I don’t usually talk mental health on this blog. As part of a strict work-life balance the closest I get is usually philosophy. A post by Liz, Mrs Frugalwood, prompted me to break that rule (1). I’ve particularly enjoyed the tales from the Frugalwoods, whose ‘homestead’ dream sits nicely with my own smallholding aspirations. In her post, Liz talks articulately and openly about the experience, the feelings, of postpartum depression.

“My friend Melanie Lockert recently told me that “depression lies to you.” It tells you that you’re worthless, it tells you that you’re hopeless and stupid. But this isn’t true. You can be pulled out of this heavy fog. Please allow yourself to be helped.” (1)

Other UK finance bloggers have also eloquently related their experiences of mental illness; Mr and Mrs Young FI Guy, Little Miss Fire, Wephway at Deliberate Living UK and Sonia at MFTMG to name a few (2, 3, 4, 5, 6). I’m sure there are others, and I’m sure there are those who choose not to share. Mental illness is hidden in plain sight. Every week, one in six adults experiences mental health problems (7). One in five adults has considered suicide (7). Mental illness is the biggest cause for lost productivity globally, anxiety and depression alone accounting for $1 trillion lost annually (8). For stigma to remain around something so common is crazy.

I hope the stigma is improving, certainly since I’ve been practising more people from all walks of life present to see us rather than suffering in silence. For some people there’s a reason, a trigger. Life is full of bumps in the road, stresses and unexpected turns of events which can throw the wheel off your cart. Everybody deals with things in different ways, and what could be a major issue for one person could be a casual shrug for another. We’re all wired differently. Some people’s moods vary more (9). For other people there is no identifiable trigger or cause. It just is. Mental illness is an illness. You don’t need a reason to get appendicitis, it’s just crap luck.

It stands to reason that the rates of mental illness should be no different in the financial blogging community. I’ve privately wondered if they’re actually higher. Financial independence and diligent saving takes order, structure and self-control. It requires attention to detail and extensive planning. When something throws an unexpected spanner in the works, e.g. MMM’s ongoing divorce, it can put a lot of stress on not only your financial system but your mental system too (10). You can’t plan for everything.

Have a great week,

The Shrink

N.B. Apologies for the late post. I’ve spent the weekend away, bumped into Mr and MrsYFG, and discovered that we’ve known each other several years through a mutual friend. Small world.

Side Orders

Other News

Opinion/ blogs:

  • I really enjoyed this video from The Plain Bagel on the Grossman Stiglitz Paradox

The kitchen garden:

What I’m reading (now affiliate links):

Rivers of London – Ben Aaronovitch – This was an absolute corker that I read in a fortnight. First time in ages I’ve stayed awake to one am reading. Looks like another series to get into.

Starting with Chickens – Kate Thear – A hint to a goal for 2019

Enchiridion by Epictetus – Bedside reading for a bad day


  1. https://www.frugalwoods.com/2018/09/07/how-a-diagnosis-of-postpartum-depression-changed-my-life/
  2. https://youngfiguy.com/depression-and-working-in-finance/
  3. https://youngfiguy.com/mrs-yfg-anxiety-and-working-in-law/
  4. https://littlemissfireblog.wordpress.com/2018/11/09/your-mental-health-is-more-important-than-your-bank-balance/
  5. https://deliberatelivinguk.wordpress.com/2018/05/16/on-depression/
  6. http://www.moneyforthemoderngirl.org/counselling-and-financial-independence/
  7. https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/publications/fundamental-facts-about-mental-health-2016
  8. https://www.who.int/mental_health/in_the_workplace/en/
  9. https://www.raptitude.com/2018/10/its-okay-to-feel-bad-for-no-reason/
  10. https://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2018/12/31/divorce/
  11. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-46720637
  12. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-46736964
  13. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-46739805
  14. https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/2019/01/26-30-railcard-goes-on-sale-today/
  15. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/money/guides/article-6545361/30-clever-ways-transform-fortunes-2019.html
  16. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/money/diyinvesting/article-6545167/THE-PRUDENT-INVESTOR-tips-protect-2019-disaster-Jeremy-Corbyn-strikes.html
  17. https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2019/jan/03/uk-power-stations-electricity-output-lowest-1994-renewables-record
  18. https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/stock-market-pound-dollar-value-facebook-apple-financial-volatility-economics-a8704056.html
  19. http://www.retirementinvestingtoday.com/2019/01/2018-hyp-review.html
  20. https://youngfiguy.com/my-top-books-of-2018/
  21. http://quietlysaving.co.uk/2019/01/01/december-2018-savings-plus-roundup/
  22. http://quietlysaving.co.uk/2019/01/05/2019-goals/
  23. https://thesavingninja.com/savings-report-6-december/
  24. http://www.thefrugalcottage.com/2019-goals/
  25. http://www.next-chapter-fi.uk/spending-report-december-2018/
  26. https://indeedably.com/conflict-of-interest/
  27. https://indeedably.com/spectator-sports/
  28. https://indeedably.com/i-own/
  29. https://simplelivingsomerset.wordpress.com/2019/01/04/new-year-new-you-new-hope/
  30. https://theescapeartist.me/2019/01/03/get-rich-with-no-regrets/
  31. http://eaglesfeartoperch.blogspot.com/2019/01/investment-review-december-2018.html
  32. https://littlemissfireblog.wordpress.com/2019/01/03/ive-moved-house/
  33. https://littlemissfire.com/why-new-years-resolutions-fail-and-ours-wont/
  34. http://www.thefinancezombie.com/2019/01/its-a-wrap.html
  35. https://gentlemansfamilyfinances.wordpress.com/2019/01/04/month-end-accounts-december-2018-2/
  36. http://earlyretirementinuk.blogspot.com/2019/01/december-general-overview.html
  37. https://obviousinvestor.com/growth-portfolio-update-for-december-2018/
  38. https://firevlondon.com/2019/01/05/december-returns-and-2018-review/
  39. https://www.jackwallington.com/looking-back-on-a-year-of-vegetables-fruit-and-edible-flowers/
  40. https://sharpenyourspades.com/2019/01/02/2018-an-allotment-year-in-pictures/
  41. https://paulnelson90.wordpress.com/2018/12/30/yule-celebrations-the-wheel-of-the-year/



4 thoughts on “Full English Accompaniment – It’s ok to not be ok

  1. Thanks for this post TFS. It’s so important to talk (write) about mental health. I’m fortunate enough to never have suffered but a number of people in my family have been diagnosed and treated for it. I find it extraordinary how it’s possible for mental illness to be so widespread and yet still something that either isn’t really talked about or that is seen as a sign of weakness.

    Good for you for writing about it today. I’m going to see if I can do that as well later this year.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think the stigma is subsiding as more people are becoming directly affected by mental health issues (either suffering themselves or people close to them who suffer). I try to be quite open about it. The challenge I see is that it’s hard to understand for those who aren’t affected. Unlike say cancer (always bad), there can be some positive aspects to mental health illnesses (I think I was quite good at my job as elements of my depression and anxiety made me a very careful thinker). Also, I’d find it very hard to understand how someone with say schizophrenia suffers (and probably vice versa). We all seem to suffer differently. Perhaps we just need to be compassionate. But society seems to be moving slightly in the opposite direction.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Great post, Shrink and thanks for the shout outs as usual.

    I’ve never suffered mental health problems myself (well, not that I know of) but my sister has and one of my close friends has. I don’t think I will ever really understand what they went through, all I can do is make time for them when required and be there for them.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. An important subject. I’ve always been a very confident person but the closest I got to this was when I got divorced a few years ago. Up until we split she had literally been the love of my life and my only serious partner. I had my whole life planned out and then the person I’d chosen to share it with just decided it wasn’t for her after 15 years. I wasn’t ever suicidal but was definitely depressed. I described it as watching my life through a TV screen. I could see I was supposed to be having a good time say at a festival but I literally felt nothing. It was the most bizarre feeling.
    I have a new partner now and met her surprisingly quickly. We’ve been together 4 years I’m thankful my frugal ways allowed me a couple of years of doing what I wanted when I wanted with no regard to cost. I also looked after myself instead of going down the usual drink drugs route.

    I have suffered from anxiety a bit since sometimes around money as I am now the main bread winner but nothing unmanageable and my partner is a very calm patient person with no expectations around lifestyle which helps enormously.

    As someone into rock music it’s obvious there’s no rhyme or reason to this illness. People like Chester from Linkin Park and Chris Cornell with literally the world at their feet and the adulation of millions and total financial security couldn’t escape their demons. A reminder that money doesn’t equal happiness and fi needs to be a means to an end not the end itself

    Liked by 1 person

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